Life As We Knew It
by Mira-chan88
Summary: Sanji and Zoro made a choice that would change them forever. How do they survive after their entire universe falls apart? AU Rated M for later chapters. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

**A****/N****: **Hey guys!This is my first published fic. This is a ZoSan, rated M for content (especially later on). I know that they'll be OOC but that's the way they need to be for this. Hang with me for a bit guys, I promise it will be good. Please Read and Review and let me know if I should continue with it. Thanks!

Mira-chan

That was it, our perfect lives together was over, done, fin, whatever word you want to use. Our entire universe was based on a tiny life that Robin had volunteered to carry for us. The life that was now extinguished, its sustenance running bright red in tiny rivulets down her legs. She was on the floor, legs slayed underneath her, a look of utter terror on her face. She screamed something at me but I was plastered there, in the doorway to her bathroom, watching the color drain from her face. Suddenly, it hit me like a ton bricks, our baby was gone but if I didn't move, Robin would be too.

I opened my phone not daring to leave the place I was in, and dialed 911. I was greeted by a gentle female voice,

"911, state your emergency"

"The surrogate mother of…" I trailed off.

"Sir?" she asks when I abruptly go quiet. The words were stuck in my throat. How do you explain to a complete stranger that your entire universe just collapsed into the space of a master bathroom?

"Sir?" she said again more forceful.

"We need an ambulance to the Shabody Apartment Complex, apartment 415. Please hurry," finally, my words were beginning to catch up to me.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Chapter 2! Sorry these chappies are so short, i'll be able to post longer ones once my college homework slows down. Thank you to the generous readers who have read the first chapter and thank you to cb O chan for my first review~ I would appreciate it if everyone would R&R! Pretty please? I promise nice things will happen if you do~

I had yet to call Zoro to let him know what happened. He was in the middle of a training session and he never took interruptions too well.

"Sanji?" it was Robin's voice, quiet as ever, calling me from just behind the privacy curtain.

"Yes Robin-chwan?" I answered tentatively.

"Sorry." Her apology was barely audible and had the doctor not been with her behind the curtain, I would have wrench it open and said something I probably would have regretted.

"It's alright Robin, really. None of us could have really prepared for something like this. All three of knew it was a possibility." I tried to speak reassuringly to her despite the storm that raged inside my heart.

**Flashback**

Zoro and I had been together off and on for the last two or so years. It wasn't until Luffy and Nami's wedding that we had finally decided enough was enough. I had been afraid that there was no hope for us ever getting back together. I had begun to pack away the memories of us into the back of mind, in the deep recesses of my memory where all my other unmentionables are kept. I began to slowly patch my heart back together by submersing myself whole heartedly into my work. Soon after closing the restaurant for the night, I got a text, from none other than Zoro.

'Hey, do you think we could talk at Lu's wedding?' My heart skipped, then I remembered that when Zoro mentioned anything about talking, it usually involved breaking up.

'I suppose, not like I have anything left to lose,' I sent the message and immediately began kicking myself. 'Way to be a dick Sanji,' I thought to myself. I sighed know full well that I had just fucked up any chance I had left with the moss head. My phone buzzed. Flipping it open I read,

'Good, meet me on the balcony after the first dance.'

I had to admit, even though Zoro was more of an asshole than I cared him to be, he still had a way of making my heart skip.

**End Flashback**

The doctor finally opened the curtain. I stared at her, expectantly.

"I'm going to keep her overnight just to make sure that everything is alright. There is still a possibility that she could hemorrhage," my face paled as the words left the doctor's mouth. It was a hard pill for me to swallow. Zoro and I were idiots for only thinking of ourselves and our desires.

"Cook-san, have you told Zoro yet?" Robin's gentle voice snapped me from my thoughts.

"No. He's still training."

"I think it would be alright if you interrupted him this one time. He can't be mad at you, this is an emergency."

Robin always had a way to the voice of reason, even on tragedy.

"I suppose." I walked out of the room and dialed Zoro's number. This was not going to go over well at all.

**A/N:** Sanji is finally calling Zoro, how will he react to the news? Stay tuned to find out~


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: And here is chapter 3! We finally see how Zoro handles the situation. For those of you new to the story, this is a yoai (boyxboy), if you don't like it, just stop now. I don't not own any of the One Piece characters, nor do I make nay money from this fiction. **

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**Zoro POV**

'Calm, soothing waters, flowing like a stream,' meditating had always been a favorite pastime of mine. It had become much more important to me now that Robin was expecting mine and Sanji's baby.

'Baby,' that one word interjected my meditation and made my heart rate sky rocket. It was hard to focus on peace and tranquility when you were always paranoid something would go wrong. Sanji was not the one who wanted the kid at first. I don't blame him in the least. I was such an ass over the years but I was surprised when he came to me and agreed just a few weeks after our initial conversation about it. That kid should be grateful; I risked everything to get his daddy back.

**Flashback **

I felt bad for the way things had turned out between us. Sanji deserved better than that, whether a man or a woman. On the other side of that, Sanji was such a playboy. Every time we would go somewhere, someone knew him or wanted to fuck him, or vice versa for that matter. It was hard for me to keep up with sometimes. I put my hand over my eyes and groaned.

'I should at least try to make things right,' I thought to myself grabbing my phone from its nest next to the couch on the side table.

"Hey, do you think we could talk at Lu's wedding?" I closed my phone and sighed. It wasn't long before I got an answer,

"I suppose, not like I have anything left to lose." His message shot me through the heart like a spear. I knew I was an ass but come on, throw me a bone. Ha ha, bone.

"Good, meet me on the balcony after the first dance." I closed my phone and smiled, it was good to be the best man.

**END FLASHBACK**

The meditation room suddenly filled with Bad Romance by that Lady Gaga person. Sanji had insisted it was our song after we saw her in concert together.

"What is it shit-cook?" snapping at him seemed right, he knew better than to interrupt my training/meditation.

"Robins in the hospital," my heart stopped. 'That's why he called' I thought to myself all the while mental kicking myself.

"Is she ok? What happened? What about the baby?" The words exited my mouth in a torrent. Sanji got so quiet it was scary.

"Hey, love-cook?" I tried to coax an answer out of him with his favorite nick name but he was a silent as the wind right before a tornado. After a few seconds that felt like a lifetime Sanji finally said,

"I think you should come to the hospital." Sanji sounded distant and lost, so lost in fact that he probably didn't know which way was up. That was the worst part, hearing the confusion and pain in his voice.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," I closed the phone, my training completely forgotten. Sanji needed me now more than ever. I got into my car and sped off toward the hospital. 'Please hold on Sanji.'

**Sanji's POV**

I knew Zoro would drive like a bat out of hell the moment we hung up. I could only hope that he wouldn't end up in the bed next to Robin's.

'Speaking of Robin,' I glanced up from the book I was reading on how to make the perfect custard to look at her. She was sleeping rather peacefully despite the events of early. Her face was still pale and she was lying on her left side. She had her arms wrapped around her stomach as if still trying to protect something that was long gone. Or maybe she was trying to hold herself together for mine and Zoro's sake.

My thoughts were abruptly disturbed by a loud shouting from the hallway.

"Get the fuck off me!"

"Sir, you're not allowed to go back there!"

"Like hell I am!"

I poked my head out to see Zoro being held back by a couple of nurses. I had to admit, those nurses could hold their own.

"Get the fuck out of my way," Zoro was done playing games now.

"But sir, her chart says…"

"It's alright, please let him through." I had cut the nurse off before she could piss Zoro off more. The relationship between the three of us was very difficult to explain. Legally, Zoro and I would lose our baby as soon as it was born because the law basically says that being gay makes you unfit. We were also barred from being able to adopt because many places did not want to expose children to homosexual relations, whatever the hell that meant. Zoro and I could care for a child; they'd be so well cared for they would want for nothing. Anyways, it was easier to claim that I was the sole sperm donor when in reality; Robin was the one that donated her egg for us. Somehow (through clever doctor loopholes) Chopper had made it so that Zoro and I could have our baby.

I ushered Zoro into Robin's hospital room and quietly shut the door. I felt Zoro's arms come around me.

"What happened?" he whispered in my ear.

"They said…" I trailed off, the words getting stuck in my throat once more. I soon began choking on sobs.

"Shh, it's ok. I'm here now," he turned me around and wiped a tear from my cheek.

"They said that her body did not recognize the baby as hers and as a type of defense, her body attack it," I lost it, I couldn't stand anymore. Zoro caught me in his strong arms as I began to fall.

"It's alright love." Zoro always knew what to say. I buried my face in his neck.

"It's alright, love," Zoro's words were softer this time.

"It'll be alright," this time I heard a sniff come from Zoro.

"It'll be alright," I felt Zoro's warm tears falling on my neck. His heart was breaking right in front of me. The strong man that I had come to love so dearly, was reduced to the same crying mess I had been; all because of a tiny life that had been taken away from us.

"It'll be ok," It was my time to try and be strong for him. The words left my mouth resonating with confidence. We held each other close as sobs wracked our respected bodies. What surprised me the most about this situation, I had just lied to him. It wouldn't be ok. Our lives wouldn't be the same after this. I had sounded so sure of myself when in fact, my heart was completely empty. There was nothing left except for a black hole where my heart had been.

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**AN: The plot thickens. Stay tuned~ **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **Sorry for the long wait on the update... My weekends are for me, no writing is done on the weekends. Thank you for those of you that have reviewed and subscribed. It is much appreciated. So, for those you who have been waiting faithfully, this chapter is longer and there is a gift at the end. please note that this chapter is definitely rated M. Love you guys~ R&R please!

Also note that the characters are OOC. I KNOW! They are meant to be that way...

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece**

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**Zoro's POV**

The drive home was very quiet, too quiet. Neither of us wanted to say anything for the fear setting the other off into another crying spell. My eyes burned from the lack of moisture. Poor Sanji had cried himself hoarse.

Thankfully, our apartment wasn't far from the hospital at all. Had I been coming from the apartment instead of the dojo, I could have walked. I parked the car in our garage and waited for Sanji to get out, he didn't budge. I opened his door and leaned in,

"Come on, cook. We're home,"

"What's the point?" His voice sounded scratchy and defeated. How do I convince him that the world isn't over? That we'll just try again when the doctor clears Robin?

"With that attitude we'll never get a baby. Get your ass out of my car and get inside before I carry you in and give the neighbors a show," the last had come out like a growl. Sanji sighed but eventually got out of the car and headed inside. I closed the garage door and followed him in. The house was still dark.

'Stupid cook, he'll kill himself walking around in a dark house,' I thought to myself while fumbling for the light switch. I found it after a few seconds of searching blindly.

'We need one of those, clap on lights. Where did Sanji wonder off to?' I began to look for the blonde in every obvious spot I thought he could have been. The kitchen was the first stop but much to my chagrin, it was empty. The only sound in the room was coming from the ice machine, nestled in the stainless steel fridge. We didn't have the money for it at the time, but Sanji had insisted that he needed. He kept saying that if he didn't have the fridge, he'd leave. I laughed at the memory, recalling that I got him the fridge because I wasn't letting him go that easy.

The next room I checked was our game room. This was the first room that we 'christened' when we moved in. Although, if Ace and Luffy ever knew that they'd never come to play Xbox again and Sanji would have my balls because his lovely kitchen would go to waste. The night that we moved in was forever etched into my memory, but this room was empty too.

'Where the hell did Sanji go?' The mystery of the disappearing Sanji was starting to bother me.

I wandered up the stairs, "Sanji?" I called out, hoping to get an answer soon.

"In here," he called back.

His response had come from the room just to the right of ours; a room that we had become very familiar with in the last month. The room was painted a pale green and had little chibi animal stickers all over the wall. The room also had a little child size table for coloring or whatever that neither Sanji nor I could have ever fit at. Sure enough, there was Sanji in a corner of the room rocking in the gliding chair we bought just the other day. He was soaking in the sounds rain on the window but I knew that his mind was on the crib that lay empty on the opposite wall from the chair.

"Zoro," Sanji said my name in such a way that shivers crawled up my spine. I was at his side in a second.

"What is it my love?"

"Will we be able to try again someday?" Relief washed over me at Sanji's question. This meant that he accepted (to some degree) what had happened but it also showed that he understood that it wasn't, in any way, anyone's fault.

"Of course we can. I said so in the car silly-cook. Maybe when Robin gets the all clear from Chopper."

I wrapped my arms around him in an effort to get him to understand that we're going to see this through to the end. The little baby had been a commit we both made, a commitment that would not be tossed aside and forgotten.

**Flashback**

I was surprised when Sanji showed up on the balcony at the appointed time. He pulled a cigarette from his jacket pocket with his long elegant fingers.

"What is it shit for brains? I'm a busy man you know," Sanji's words cut through me like Wado's blade.

"I was hoping that if maybe we couldkfoishflsncl," great. What a great fucking time for my brain to short-circuit.

"What is it moss head? Spit it out."

"I was hoping that if there was any way for you to find forgiveness for me, that maybe we could try again…" My palms were sweaty, I couldn't breathe, and the suit was suffocating.

"What makes you think I'd want to after the way you treated me?"

"First of all shit-cook, **I** was not the only antagonizer. You did your fair share of egging me on. And for the record," I cut myself off and looked him square in the face. He was pale, like I had slapped him.

Suddenly I was compelled to kiss him. It wasn't like we hadn't done it before but this time seemed different. My body was telling me that I had to. That if I didn't do it now I would lose him forever. I grabbed the back of his hair, gently pulling him toward me. This was it; this was the moment that would define the rest of our relationship, if there was a relationship to be had.

"Oi, what the hell are you, mmmmmfffff," my lips fell upon him with a feather light touch. Quickly, he matched my eagerness, his cigarette forgotten about. It slipped from his fingers and landed onto the concrete as I dipped him backwards and deepened the kiss, pushing my tongue past his kiss bruised lips.

The kiss was over as soon as it began, I wasn't complaining though. That kiss sealed the deal. Sanji had yet to realize it though. I began to walk back inside trying to hide my raging boner.

"Oi, shit-head, my place tomorrow night," Sanji called after me. I smiled; I knew that this was a new beginning for us.

**End Flashback**

The memory of our first night at Sanji's apartment had awoken a part of me that was rather inappropriate to be awake during the grieving process. Gently, I picked Sanji up from the chair and carried him bridal style the few feet to our bedroom. I gently laid him on the California king bed and removed his shoes. Next to go was his belt and tie.

"Zoro," my name was a sigh on Sanji's lips and I felt his body relax. I realized that he needed this as much as I did.

"Hn. Don't worry love-cook, I can make you forget."

With the belt gone I made quick work of Sanji's pants. I threw them somewhere across the wide expanse of our room. I quickly removed his boxers as well. In front of me was Sanji's cock, staring me down. He was certainly a little smaller than me but the way he used it made me melt inside. I slowly enveloped Sanji's head and began to suck.

"Ahhh," Sanji gasped as he laced his fingers through my hair, "not fair," he stated, obviously upset by the fact that I still had more clothes on than him. I responded by sucking harder. I could tell that Sanji wouldn't last long, not after the events of the day. I could feel it in the way he bucked his hips asking for release.

I released his cock with a small pop. I stood up next to the bed and removed my pants and boxers in one fell swoop. I always loved to look at Sanji when he saw me. His face was full of wonder and lust, mostly of lust now. He had come to terms that I could fit in him no problem.

"Let's do something about your shirt. Come here," the command was soft but firm and Sanji quickly scooted to the side of the bed and sat up. I quickly stripped him of his button down shirt and he removed mine with ease. Suddenly I was pulled on top of him, captured in a kiss that damn near finished me.

Sanji's hands roamed over my torso and stopped at my scar. It ran from my shoulder to the opposite hip, the result of being on the wrong side of sword. I kissed Sanji deeper in an effort to distract him further.

"Mmm. Please Zoro," I could never resist Sanji's breathless begging. I reached under my pillow and pulled out a bottle of lube.

"What do you want, Sanji?" I asked him, equally as breathless.

"Zoro," he whined bucking his hips up to meet mine.

"What is it love? I can't help if I don't know what's wrong," my teasing was going to kill me.

"Fuck me Zoro, please," Sanji looked at me like he was going to die if I didn't please him. I, however was not going to fuck him like he wanted. I was going to make love to him.

I smiled at him and lubed up my fingers. I slowly trailed one up his crack to the tight ring that I had come so accustomed to. I eased in a finger and waited for Sanji to adjust before adding a second. Slowly, I moved my single digit in and out listening to his moans. Sanji's sounds were mesmerizing.

"More," Sanji croaked torn between pleasure and tears. Sanji, just like I had been earlier, was reminiscing about our first night together. I quickly entered a second digit and began to scissor him slowly. I was going painfully slow but we both would appreciate it.

"Ready love-cook?" I asked removing my fingers and angling his hips up.

"Yes, Zoro. God yes," that was all I needed to hear before easing myself up to the hilt. I placed the backs of his knees on my shoulders and placed my hands on his hips. I waited a few seconds for him to adjust to my girth before moving.

"Zoro, faster."

"Patience, love," I was already at my wit's end just pulling out and pushing in. I leaned down, basically bending him in half, angling myself deeper and giving me the chance to kiss him.

"God Zoro. It hurts so bad. Please," I couldn't deny my blonde angel any longer. I began to pump faster, in and out until it was just us in the world. I reached down and grabbed his neglected cock, the head shiny from pre-cum. I began to pump it in time to my thrusts.

"Ahhhh," Sanji's head snapped back at the sensation. At this rate I wasn't going to last long.

"I…I love you, Zoro." Sanji's words, gasped out between pants sent me over the edge and apparently Sanji not long after.

"Sanji!"

"Zoro!"

We had called for each other as I finished inside him, feeling him tense around my cock as he finished on my hand and his stomach.

When we finished, I gently pulled out and laid down next to him.

"I love you, too Sanji," I placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before following him to dreamland.

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**AN:** What did you guys think? Finally some smexings. Told you i'd surprise you guys! Stay tuned for next time when Robin is discharged~


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Finally~ Here is another long awaited chapter. Sorry this isn't as long as the last one but this one is somewhat emotionally deep. **

**Rated M for language and such**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece**

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**Robin's POV**

**Flashback**

I had first met Sanji and Zoro at a going away party for a former client of mine. At the time I was the curator for the History museum in charge of making sure the new Pirate exhibit went on without a hitch. The two, from what I had understood, were together but things seemed tense between them. Little did I know then, they had just gotten back together after a string of on again off again.

"Robin! Over here," the bright red-head girl named Nami called me over to her present position. She was standing next to the two boys. I walked over to her with my usual grace. The blond one instantly swooned,

"So this is Robin-chwan?"

"Shut up shit cook," The green haired man's voice was rather… what was the word…abrasive? I almost felt bad for the blond.

"Good evening. You two must be Sanji and Zoro. Nami has told me all about you," I smiled my trusty fake smile and placed my delicate hand over my mouth concealing a half giggle.

"Are you finding your stay here enjoyable?" Sanji had nodded and Zoro merely grunted. Had I known at the time that I would basically donate my body to them, I would have told Nami to go jump off a bridge.

**End Flashback**

As I lay in my hospital bed, I couldn't help but let my mind wander. This was exactly what I didn't want to happen. I couldn't help but reflect on how grateful I was that Cook-san had been there. I shuddered at the thought of ending up like my mother had. Soon after I was born she had passed; the island I had come from did not have the same level of technology that the mainland had at the time. I had not known my mother, obviously, so there was no one I could turn to about this. I could only consult the books in my ever growing personal library.

I also couldn't help but reflect on the day that Zoro had come to me asking me to be a surrogate for him and Sanji. At first I thought that the idea was ludicrous. He came at me with all the numbers and statistics (I had already know them but I was impressed he did knew them) and initially, I had said no. The chances of never being able to have my own baby after this made the decision quick for me. Zoro had gone away with a look of desperation on his face.

Two days later I had called him and told him that I would do it, and that I wanted nothing in return. I had changed my mind simply on a whim. I was too independent a woman to be able to settle down with any man. Zoro stated that he would be able to compensate me but I insisted that I did not want the money; I just wanted him and Sanji to be happy.

I was wrenched from my thoughts when the nurse walked into my room.

"It is time for you to check out, there are two fine looking men waiting for you in the waiting room. Would you like a chair or can you walk?"

"I would like a chair please," my words were short and clipped but you would be too if a nurse interjected your deepest thoughts. The nurse wheeled me out of the room and down the hall. There in the room waiting for me was Ace and Luffy. 'Not who I expected to see,' I thought to myself.

"Robin!" Luffy was excited to see me.

"Hey Robin," Ace said my name with more calmness than his brother.

"What brings the Portgas brothers to my aid?"

"Sanji and Zoro had to work today; they said that they'll pick you up from our house when they get off." Ace quickly relieved me of my nurse and wheeled me to their car. Luffy opened the passenger door for me and I gently scooted as best I could into the seat. I was not at all confident with my legs just yet. The ride to the Portgas house was loud as usual but I was relieved as opposed to bothered. The quiet of the hospital had been getting to me. The only remaining question in my life was whether or not I wanted to put myself through that again. What if I lost another one? I'd never be able to live with myself.

"Robin, where'd you go?" It was Luffy this time from the back seat.

"Nowhere in particular," I was staring out the window at the moving buildings.

"You know, I bet Sanji and Zoro would understand if you didn't want to try again. I think you also know that deep down, you'd be the best mom," Luffy's words had not rung as deep in soul as these just had. I wasn't ready to try again so soon. After all, my mother hadn't given up until I was born; I owed my mother the same courtesy with my life. I smiled, still looking out the window as we pulled up to the brother's house.

**Sanji's POV**

It was finally time to close the restaurant for the night. Thankfully, almost everyone was already gone so it was easy; no kicking any drunks out this time. I smiled to myself.

'Being the owner sure is hard work,' I joked to myself having a little chuckle. Zoro would be here soon and after this, we'd go pick up Robin from the Portgas house. Thankfully, the brothers had been off today. They were able to pick Robin up and keep her mind off the recent events.

Not thirty minutes later everything was locked and I was standing outside smoking a cigarette, waiting for Zoro.

"Shit head probably got lost,"

"I heard that dart brow," Zoro pulled up in our silver Jaguar. Our second large purchase together, the apartment being the first. I hopped into the passenger side.

"Let's go get Robin," Zoro grunted at me when I said those words. This whole kid thing was his idea, but we were both going to talk to Robin about trying again; maybe not right away but maybe in the future. All three of us needed time to heal.

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**AN: There it is~ Part of Robin's history. Stay tuned for the next update. R&R, let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions about this fic~**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey Readers! Sorry it took so long to update! I have tests all this week and haven't had time to write... I had actually planned to let this story kinda die and then my lovely boyfriend motivated me with "finish it or I'm breaking up with you". I love my boyfriend and he knows what kind of things I need to be told to get my ass in gear. So, I don't own the song "Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men, I am just shamelessly advertising for them. I don't own One Piece. Enjoy~**

**p.s. every one should thank my boyfriend for this chappie~**

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**Zoro's POV**

It had been a month before we had reached any remote level of normalcy. Sure we smiled and laughed but that didn't mean that we were happy. Unknown to Sanji I had turned to alcohol. It was easy to hide my struggles when Sanji went to bed long before I "got off work". Sure I felt bad about going behind his back and drinking away our savings but what else was I supposed to do?

'Not like we need that savings anyways,' Robin had turned us down for trying again. There was no need to maintain the amount of savings that we had when there was nothing there to spend it on. In the month since we came home from the hospital, Sanji had covered the nursery in white sheets in an effort to keep the baby items dust free. Quite frankly, it looked more like a morgue than an effort in preservation.

'Speaking of Sanji,' I thought to myself. I needed to get home so I could take him out to karaoke. This was a new ritual that we had joined, started by Luffy of course, a few weeks ago. We went with them last time, might as well go this time too. I got in my new black Mazda, an anniversary gift from my cook, and drove home.

**Sanji's POV**

Tonight was karaoke night at the Alabasta Bar. Luffy's brother owned it along with his wife, Vivi. I didn't really want to go, but for the sake of my sanity I needed to. I had effectively banned myself from the kitchen at home because the knives were too tempting. What was the point of carrying on when your dream was taken away from you and your only support was never home when you needed him?

The sound of a car horn snapped me from my thoughts. I grabbed my wallet from the end table next to the door. I shut the door and didn't look back.

**Zoro's POV**

Sanji got in the car and buckled in.

"How was work?" God Zoro, generic question.

"Fine moss for brains"

"What happened?" I knew something was up; he hadn't called me moss for brains in about a month. In fact, our insults had stopped all together.

Sanji sighed, "It was a rough day. There was a family that came in with a newborn. I had to send someone else to serve them because I just couldn't."

That was it? That's why my angel had looked so morose when he got in the car? I put my hand on his thigh in an effort reassure him. We would get there, eventually.

"Love you, shit-cook"

"You too, Zoro," I was slightly surprised by the use of my name.

The rest of the 15 minute drive was quiet.

**Sanji's POV**

I'm grateful that we got there when we did. The silence was killing me. I think Pink had said it best once, the silence scares me because it screams the truth.

Zoro parks the car and we walk to the door together, hand in hand. I can't help but smile. These small tender moments that Zoro and I share reach deep into my heart. He may not know it but he is the light in my dark heart. I see Robin and let go of Zoro's hand.

"Robin-chwan~" I hold my arms out and hug her, "I think you and I should sing tonight. I know the perfect song." Robin's eyes widened at my proposition. I usually didn't sing at all.

"Alright Cook-san, I'll do it" to be honest, I was taken aback by her answer, Robin never sang!

The benefit of knowing the owners is that you never have to show ID, so getting into the bar was easy. Zoro made a bee line for the bar and ordered a beer for him and a fruity blue drink for me. Robin and I hopped up on the stage and selected the song. The other patrons clapped along with the opening beats. I lost myself in the song, for the first time in a month or so, I was truly happy.

**Zoro's POV**

I knew the idiot cook had gotten on stage as soon as music filled the bar. It had been so long since he sang that this was a treat. I walked over to the stage and waited, his drink in one hand and my beer in the other as everyone started to clap.

**Hey! Hey! Hey!**

**I don't like walking around this old and empty house**

Robin's velvet smooth voice filled the speakers and everyone grew quiet. I knew right away this song would be emotional but I knew it would only be a matter of time before the entire bar chimed in. 'The other patrons don't know the reason for this particular song though,' I thought to myself.

**So hold my hand, I'll walk with you, my dear**

Sanji's tenor filled the speakers next. There was no way I was going to make it through this without crying…

**The stairs creak as you sleep, it's keeping me awake**

**It's the house telling you to close your eyes**

**And some days I can't even trust myself**

**It's killing me to see you this way**

Those two lines summarized our relationship. It kills me to see Sanji acting like an emo; it is very unbecoming of him. I began to think about telling Sanji about my drinking problem.

**'Cause though the truth may vary**

**This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore**

Sanji and Robin's voice melded together. It was haunting.

**Hey! Hey! Hey!**

**There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back**

**Well tell her that I miss our little talks**

**Soon it will be over and buried with our past**

**We used to play outside when we were young**

**And full of life and full of love.**

**Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right**

**Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear**

**'Cause though the truth may vary**

**This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore**

It finally clicked in my head. I dropped my empty beer bottle and Sanji's blue cocktail. Sanji had been contemplating suicide. Robin was mending but Sanji needed me now more than ever. All of a sudden the bar erupted into a noise that gave the Symphony a run for its money. Honestly I couldn't help but stare and Sanji and join in.

**Hey!**

**Don't listen to a word I say**

**Hey!**

**The screams all sound the same**

**Hey!**

Sanji looked at me and smiled. He understood that I got it, that I knew he was having internal struggles.

**Though the truth may vary**

**This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore**

**Hey!**

**Hey!**

The bar got quiet again as Sanji and Robin's voice filled the speakers again.

**You're gone, gone, gone away**

**I watched you disappear**

**All that's left is the ghost of you.**

**Now we're torn, torn, torn apart,**

**There's nothing we can do**

**Just let me go we'll meet again soon**

'Our baby,' the final piece fell into place. This was all because of the baby we had failed to have. I really needed to talk to Robin. Sanji and I will never make it to our next birthdays if we can't figure something out. This was like a message from our kid to not worry; we'll get to see him someday.

**Now wait, wait, wait for me**

**Please hang around **

**I'll see you when I fall asleep**

I had to get Sanji to understand that this wasn't the end. I needed to convince both of them that if we tried again, things would be different. We would never forget our first baby. He'd be with us in our dreams. How did I know it would be a boy? Roronoa Zoro only makes boys. The bar chimed in again.

**Hey!**

**Don't listen to a word I say**

**Hey!**

**The screams all sound the same**

**Hey!**

**Though the truth may vary**

**This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore**

**Don't listen to a word I say**

**Hey!**

**The screams all sound the same**

**Hey!**

**Though the truth may vary**

**This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore**

**Though the truth may vary**

**This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore**

**Though the truth may vary**

**This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore**

The bar was in awed silence as Sanji and Robin got off the stage and came to join us.

"You owe me a drink shit-head," Sanji never ceased to amaze me.

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**AN: There you guys go. Last update till next week, unless I'm feeling generous. Leave a review please and thank you~**


	7. Chapter 7

**OH MY GOD GUYS- **

**I'm so sorry! College and my new job got in the way! However, thank you to my honey bunny that didn't let him forget and thank you to the reviewer by the name of 'Guest", I appreciate your stern message. Now that summer vacation is here I promise to update more frequently, at least more than once in like 3 months? Please R&R and let me know what you guys think about his chappie~**

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**Sanji's POV**

That damn marimo couldn't be trusted with alcohol. I swear, he either drinks it all or drops it.

"You owe me a drink, shit-head," I repeated myself just in case he didn't hear it the first time. I loved him, don't get me wrong but the bastard drove me nuts. Sometimes not in the good way either. Zoro was dense, sure, but I knew that he understood everything as soon as I hopped off the stage, Robin close on my heels.

"What the hell, shit-cook?" He looked at me like a deer in the headlights.

"Come here," Zoro pulled me into his arms and basically dragged me outside.

"Careful, these shoes were expensive!" I wrestled myself from his grip as soon as the cool air hit my skin.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"What the hell is yours, Sanji? You've been so distant lately. Sure the song made it obvious that you're still dealing with shit but why are you being so secretive? You used to come to me with everything and now you…you…you just don't."

Zoro looked defeated. His shoulders were slightly pulled forward as if protecting his heart from whatever I dished out at him. I sighed, collecting my last shards of self-dignity before I was let down for the last time.

I stared at Zoro for a long second before stating clearly for everyone in that dark and dirty back alley to hear,"I think I've become an alcoholic."

I had prepared myself for the worst of Zoro's reactions and flinched when he moved towards me. All he did was wrap his arms around me in a tight hug.

"We'll get through this too, Sanji." I couldn't help but blush at my name flowing like liquid fire from my ear drums to my groin. 'Not in this nasty alley we're not,' I told myself.

Zoro let go too early for my liking but we had to return inside before anyone got too curious for their own good. Zoro grabbed my hand again but this time he was much gentler and his grasp was feather light, as if he would float away if I let go. All too soon we were back in the packed club the smell of smoke, booze and sweat thick in the air.

"Hey guys, Sanji and I are going to go home," I heard Zoro say to the group before being led back outside but this time instead of heading toward the alley we went to the car.

As soon as the doors were shut Zoro slammed his hands onto the steering wheel. Needless to say, I jumped clear out of my seat in surprise.

"The hell did my car do to you?" I asked.

"Better the car than you," Zoro growled.

"But your code of honor only applies to women," I stated back still looking at him.

Zoro was silent, as silent as I had been the day I called him to tell him Robin had miscarried. I had half expected him to wail on me considering that I had done something I had thought to be unforgivable.

**FLASHBACK**

I knocked on Zoro's apartment door at 6:30 pm with the expectations that we would eat and then watch TV. I had also considered not showing up at all. 'Maybe that would get him back for the last couple years.' My thoughts were taken away from me when the green haired man opened the door.

"Hey," Zoro was breathless. Literally, he was panting as he opened the door.

"Did I come at a bad time?"

"Not at all, come in," Zoro opened the door a little wider and I stepped in. I was surprised by the stark white walls and the pristine cleanliness of the overall space. The last few times we were here it was a trash heap.

"Wow," my surprise passed through my lips in a breathless sigh. "Did you clean everything just for me?"

Zoro shifted uncomfortably from his right foot to his left foot and back to the other.

"Well, figured it would go over better if I had cleaned up my life a little. Where else is a good start than cleaning the shit out of my living space?"

Again, I was amazed. Zoro was making all of these changes to he was just for me. There was no way I could be that important to him.

"So, dinner is on the table. What would you like to drink? I've got Ve…Veu…Vev"

"Veuve Clicquot?" My mouth damn near hit the floor. Where the hell did he get the money for a wine worth that much money? More importantly, when the hell had he started drinking wine instead of sake?!

"Sure, you're the one that knows this stuff…I've also got a bottle of Petrus Pomerol. Did I pronounce that one right?" Zoro turned to look at me. The light hit his face just right as he turned his head over his shoulder. "Sanji, close your mouth, you'll catch flies that way."

I snapped it shut and pointed to the Petrus bottle. 'If he's going to spend that much money on me might as well drink the hell out of it.' I thought as he shifted his attention to the bottle opener on the counter. I watched him like a hawk as he poured the bottle into a juice glass and handed it to me.

"You really do have moss for brains!" I laughed. Suddenly, he was standing behind me with an arm around my waist and his mouth against my ear.

"I didn't have time to get the proper glasses. Sorry princess." His breath was hot and I could feel my face flush as he released my waist and stuck the glass out again with his other hand. This time I took it. Who knew that harassing someone about a glass could be sexual?

We finally sat down at the table and I got a full view of what he had made: breaded tilapia with fresh green beans. I picked up my fork and took a small bite, despite the fact that it was cold, it was delicious. Wait… Is that feta cheese I taste?! He even stuffed the things!

"Sorry, it's cold. You can't nuke fish very well either. Are you ok with ordering in?" Zoro stated and I looked at him. His skin was glowing a light tan from the candle light.

"Kind of ironic don't you think. An expensive bottle of wine and we are going to tarnish it with sub-par Chinese cuisine?"

"Well Sanji, I kind of spent my whole savings account on this dinner for you and all the food I had in the house was what is in front of you."

I was silently stunned. He had just admitted that everything he had done had been for me, for the second time.

"What good Chinese places are around here?" Zoro's face spilt into a huge smile. He understood that I had accepted the small things he was doing but he also understood that I hadn't forgiven him completely yet.

We ended up ordering from this little place down the street that sold, what they claimed to be, authentic Chinese. I have to give them credit, their delivery guy was quick.

Zoro and I moved to the table in front of the couch with our new, hot, fresh, cheap food and the expensive wine.

We pretty much ate and drank in silence until the food was gone and most of the wine as well.

"Hey Sanji?" My name cut through the fog that had invaded my head.

"Yeah Zoro?"

"I love you."

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**The first wine mentioned (Veu whatever) is $120 USD and the wine they drink during dinner is $1,200 USD a bottle. **

**PS. Sorry for the cliffhanger, but at least now I know where to go with this for at least another chapter or two. Please remember that the flashback will remain until I say otherwise.**

**PSS. there will be a present in the next chappie for all of you patient fans.**

**PSSS. Remember to thank my boyfriend for keeping me on track.**

**PSSSS. If you are interested in working with me as a BETA let me know. I've noticed some mistakes after posting and I'm too lazy at that point to fix them. I also may ask you where to go with this beast from time to time so any thoughts or advice are appreciated~**


	8. Chapter 8

**Oh my gosh guys.. I'm so sorry! No amount of apologies will make up for this. The end was rushed, horribly. I will not be offended if I get some upset reviews about it. I just got back from a week in Florida and it was the best week ever! I was also promoted at my job to a full time position, so there went all my free time. Thank you to all of you who have waited with bated breath for this story. Hopefully, I can wrap this story up soon. Enjoy and Review!**

"Do you have any idea of what you just said?" I asked him trying not to fall off the side of the couch in my drunken surprise.

"I know exactly what I just said. I love you, Sanji," Zoro got off the couch and knelt in front of me. He laid his head on my lap, effectively preventing me from kicking him off. 'Not like I'm in any condition to fight anyways.' I thought to myself.

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to say it, love-cook. Please, please give me another chance Sanji."

I took a deep breath trying to lift the fog that had settled in a little bit before opening my mouth.

"How do I know this time will be different?" My voice was shaky, a clear give away that I was unsure about this whole situation.

He looked up at me from my lap, his green eyes capturing me in their depths.

"I'm not afraid anymore."

"What would you have been afraid of in the first place?" I looked at him flabbergasted. This was coming from a man who could fight with three swords and seduce the devil with one glance, at the same time!

"I was afraid of my feelings. I was afraid that if I had fallen in love with someone else I would lose any remaining feelings I had for Kuina, and let's face it, I'm not ready to give her memory up yet."

I could honestly say that this was the first time Zoro had ever been so honest with me. Too bad I was drunk and probably would not remember any of this conversation. But, I had to give him some credit, maybe he really was changing.

"Zoro, look. Kuina will always be important to you. She's not going to disappear from your heart if you love someone else."

"I know that now and I want you. I want you to love me the same way that I love you. I want to wake up in the coming mornings with you by my side." Zoro had stood up at this point and had grabbed my waist on the way up, pulling me to stand up against him.

"So I'll say it again, I love you Sanji." Next thing I knew, Zoro's lips were on mine. It's not like it was forced, just unexpected. It took a moment for me to respond because of all the wine we had.

My lips moved earnestly against. I couldn't get enough of his musky scent. I poked my tongue out asking for admittance. Zoro opened his mouth but invaded mine with his muscle before I could react. We began the dance of dominance and the only purpose it served was to ignite my body. My face was flushed pink and by the time we parted for air, we were both panting.

"Isn't it bad luck to fuck on the first date?"

"This isn't the first, my love." Zoro hoisted me over his shoulder and unceremoniously carried me to his room.

**End Flashback**

We arrived at our apartment while I had been lost on memory lane. Zoro refused to speak to me and I didn't want to risk getting smacked for some idiotic comment. I followed him into the kitchen where he poured himself a glass of water.

"Sanji?" I looked at him. "Where are the knives?" Damn, I had hoped he wouldn't have noticed.

"I hid them away so I wouldn't try to kill myself like a stereotypical depressed person would."

Zoro sighed again. This time, it seemed to be more out of relief then exasperation.

"Sanji, listen. Wanting to cut yourself is completely different than being an alcoholic. You are by no means addicted to alcohol. There would have been money disappearing from our accounts if you had been. Sides, you were never one to hold your liquor well."

I stared at Zoro dumbfounded. I was not an alcoholic, which was great. Instead I was suicidal, not great. I formed a slight 'O' with my mouth as understanding slowly seeped into my bones. So the ache I felt was not from wanting to drink myself stupid. It was Zoro's next few words that snapped me from my thoughts.

"Sides, you can't be an alcoholic, cause I am." His admission startled me. No wonder he had been coming home late. "I'm sorry, Sanji." Zoro set his glass down and walked back around the counter toward me. "I promise that we'll both get better, together." I nodded my head in acceptance.

"Now, let's do something about that shall we?" Zoro nudged his head in my direction. He could see clearly that I had been turned on by my own thoughts earlier. "What were you thinking about?"

All of a sudden, Zoro was too close. His beautiful green hair had invaded my face while his tongue dragged down my jaw leaving a trail of fire in his wake.

"That night in your apartment when we paired expensive wine with cheap Chinese food," I moaned at the contact. Zoro moaned against my neck in response. I was gently hoisted up and sat down on the granite counter top. The cool counter top made it evident that I was too hot; I needed to be naked under Zoro. I pushed my hips up in the hopes that he would get the message.

Zoro chuckled at my eagerness, "Patience my love."

**Flashback **

**Zoro's POV**

I honestly didn't know what I had been thinking, asking Sanji to come over. It was too late to back out now though, I had already bought the food and wine. I would probably regret buying the wine later on but this was a small price for me to pay to win him back. I heard a knock on my door at 6:30 and knew instantly it was Sanji. I ran to the door and opened it.

"Hey," I panted. I was breathless, not from running from the dining room to the door but from the sheer beauty that was my blond ex.

"Did I come at a bad time?"

"No, come on in." I held the door a little further for him to walk in. Sanji was breathless as well, 'as he should be,' I thought to myself. I had only spent the last three or so days cleaning up the whole place, just for him. After a short conversation I walked back into the kitchen and offered him some wine.

First was the bottle that was sort of expensive. Sanji may not have realized it but he subtly turned his nose up meaning he didn't want the white wine. I showed him the second bottle and that was the more expensive of the two but it was also red. He chose that one. Finally, we sat down to eat.

I took a bite out of the food and realized that I had inadvertently ruined it, "Sorry its cold. Fish doesn't reheat well either. Do you mind if we got eat in stuff?"

After some incredulous looks and an intense discussion Sanji caved and we got Chinese food. He was so beautiful with the pink tinged cheeks from the alcohol. I had promised myself that would just be dinner and TV so as not to rush this second chance I had been gifted with, but I just couldn't resist. I don't know when it happened but I found myself laying my head on Sanji's lap spilling everything to him both feelings and my fears.

He smiled at me and told me that I would never forget Kuina even though I loved him. It was at that moment I decided that I would take him. No, not take him, I would love him. I lifted him up off the couch and unceremoniously carried him to my room and threw him on the bed.

I quickly removed his shoes to prevent any protests about staying here. He would be staying the night and I would make sure he was a pile of mush before he fell asleep. I followed his pant leg up to his crotch and nuzzled it, breathing in the scent that was purely Sanji. I could hear Sanji's breath catch in his throat and soon after I began my slow touchy feely path up his stomach to his chest. I slid my hands under his shirt and at one point brought it up with me, removing it once I reached Sanji's face.

"Hi," I breathed.

"Hey." Sanji answered. I captured his mouth in a kiss he would never forget.

**End Flashback**

I undid Sanji's pants and did away with my own almost simultaneously. The nice thing about having money was that we could replace just about anything we destroyed clothing wise, during any activities. Sanji moaned as I took his shirt off more gently then I had removed his pants. He hissed slightly as the cold from the granite counter top seeped into his skin.

I gave him no time to adjust before enveloping his dick in my mouth. To say that the sounds that he was making were not doing anything to my brain, would be a lie. I ached for Sanji. It was an ache that would never go away, I ached for him in my heart.

Before we knew it, Sanji had cum hard and fast screaming my name. Needless to say, I swallowed every drop he had to offer me.

I quickly flipped him over onto his hands and knees, pulling him off the counter but giving him enough leverage to brace himself on the ledge. I slowly entered him trying not to go too fast and cause him harm.

"Damn it, Marimo, just MOVE!" Sanji shouted before I had entered him completely. Losing the last remaining shreds of myself control I pushed into him until my hips were flush with his. I began a hard and fast pace that soon had Sanji begging for release.

"Zoro, please..." his words were enough to take my breath away.

"Of course you can, Sanji," I whispered in his ear. Next thing I knew, our cabinet was covered as Sanji screamed my name again, me quickly behind him. I grunted as I finally released, both of us coming down from our high.

"Love you Sanji."

"Love you too moss brains. Now get me off this counter."

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**See, it was rushed. Anyways- As mentioned last chapter I am looking for someone to BETA this for me and possibly be a long term BETA. If interested PM me. See you guys next chapter~**


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